I dont have much time and there will probably be spelling errors because I am typing really fast and the keyboardes here are slighty very very different. I have been here for 6 days. My companion and I are both new to this area.we have had like 2 lessons this whpole week. we cant find ANYONE. there are few street names and een fewer house numbers. most people dont have a house or cell phone.we have been lost about 90 percent of the time and I have never walked so much in my life.our are is HUGE. up and down huge hills. im hungry all the time. here we only eat breakfast and lunch. we dont have time for dinner. i guess we're not very good planners. this is hard. way hgard. i never thought a mission would be like this. yea some areas, countries or cities might be easier. but this is hard. we walk all day and dont find anyone. i haven't cried out of frustration. YET. just about. but besides all of that. i want to be here. i love it. one of the elders in our zone shared this scripture with me after i told him.
21 Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to achasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.
22 Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his atrust in him the same shall be blifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people.
Then I thought. holy smokes. i suck. he's right. this will all be for my benefit. how? who knows. but i know that heavenly father has a purpose in everything he does. and more than anything. people need us. people need missionaries. they need to hear the gospel from imperfect missionaries to know that they can one day be with God again and be perfect if we really strive to do that in this life. that scripture gave me a gentle slap in the face. i needed it. because if you notice how much i comalined up above. im here oin a mission. never will i do this again. (unless i get really old and never marry and go on a mission for a 2nd time. lets pray that wont happen.) I know that this work is real. i know he needs us. but not only us. but he needs the members.
i know it will get better. i seriously didnt think a mission would be this hard. i feel dumb saying that. but i didnt. i knew it wouldnt be glamorous. but sheesh (wipes sweat off brow) its toughers. i have so much more respect for people that serve missions. seriously.8000 missionarioes in the world. how many people are in the world? think sbout it. krazie. yea granted there were a lot before too. Despite all of that and many other things. I am glad to be here. I know that the people here need to hear the gospel. its quite intimidating going up to people to talk to them about the gospel. most people here have signs on their outside window that say..."this is a catholic houser and we do not accept propoganda from other religions." yikes. its a little scary the looks we get when we knock on those doors. but our leaders here say that we need to talk to everyone. the taxi driver, people on the bus, people in the store and even the rocks. open your mouth and share the gospel our mission president says. we have one investigator right now and shes really solid. you can see it in her eyes that shes been looking for something more meaningful in this life and she wants to have a relationship with heavenly father and christ. i think she thought we were poor and ugly cuz she asked that if we ever need clothes. that she will buy us some. HA . thanks i think? So there was a devotional we got to watch and it was about the attributes of Christ and i thought. wow. I wish i was super nice, caring, charitble and faithful like Christ was. duh. well i wish i played on the US pro soccer team. but like everything. it takes patience and practice. im going to have to practice being Christlike. so that was something cool to think about. it's been pretty exciting here so far. they tell us that we need to try a taco of ant eggs or frog legs. call me crazy. but ill pass. I hope everyone takes time out of their day to do something kind for someone you love, and for someone you dont love! Oooo.
My address for packages or letters. if anyone wants to...
We did In-Field Orientation... It was brutal. It was from 8-6pm... I was trying SO hard to not fall asleep. People were making fun of me because my mouth was open. but I only started to fall asleep in one presentation. It was a lot of really good information. There was a really good story from Elder Bednar and about some missionaries that were wasting time at his house... and he completely rebuked them. I felt like he was talking to me. It was scary. Not that I've been wasting time, but that I never want to be disobedient. I realized that everyone looks at everything we do. We're literally representatives of Christ. So are all members... but my branch president said that we have our name and Christ's name on the same badge that it's over our hearts and to realize what we're really doing.
One thing that I'm striving to do is during my prayers to always ask Heavenly Father what He wants me to do, because He knows better than I do.
An elder in my district (and cried. he never cries) shared his testimony that he has never prayed so much and that he has never had the feelings/desires to pray for someone else so much and that he realized how selfish he was being by only praying for himself. That was really cool.
I saw this quote in one of the elders little journals and it reminded me that I've done some pretty crummy things. Even after I was baptized..but HF looks at what I'm doing now and if I've learned from my mistakes. I feel like if we feel guilty about things that we did before.. it can help by reminding yourself that you've learned and changed. I don't know why I felt like sharing that. It also reminds me of the story of Lot and his wife and when she turned around. Like looking back...
"Jesus Christ's plan doesn't have rear-view mirrors."
March 10th Life at the Missionary Training Center I've learned sooo much in these past couple days. It's unreal. First of all, I realized how much I didn't pray. And should have prayed when I was home. I really didn't understand what it was to have a good relationship with HF. There is a siter here that is kind of sassy... and we didn't have a confrontation but she said something to me. So i planned on asking her not to say that... I was a little worked up, but the first thing that came out of my mouth when I went to talk to her was that I'm sorry. I apologized. Why? At the time I had NO idea, but I did. Later I realized that I felt the spirit of contention and I literally couldn't say anything but sorry. The spirit wouldn't let me. It was crazy, but so awesome. That's one of my goels, to see people as they can become not what they are. I've also learned that I LOVE being on a mission. Even though I've been here at the MTC a few days. The first day was really hard because I was doubting myself and the whole mission, but after praying a lot and going to class, I thought wow! Christ died for me and I can't go on a mission for him???? I can do this. I was blessed to get the calling of sister trainer leader with residence hall opportunities. Pretty cool. I LOVE my district. they're all so cool. I was blessed to be in the district that I'm in. Oh.. and I did get sick =( but the elders gave me a blessing and they were so willing to. it was really cool. Also, I was talking with my teacher about knowledge and being well informed and we had a longgggg discussion about it. Then I said... well isn't knowledge power?? and he said.. "Yea, but whose power is it?" then he said one of the coolest things ive ever heard... "Knowledge is power, but if that power is adding to YOUR power then you have the wrong intentions and that's satan's doctrine." I was blown away. And we had a devotional yesterday and Bednar said... "Worry about someone else when you are only worries about yourself." He really drilled into our heads that this mission is not for us and that we will get blessings from it, but if getting blessings is our primary reason for serving a mission. t=Then we won't be truly converted. Anyways, I'm running out of time. Keep the letters coming.
PS. My companion is hilarious!! And way more of an airhead than I am. I love her.